i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
