It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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