He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
