How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
