if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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