What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
