Banned from zoo.
Again?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
