My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
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Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Never joke about your clitoris.
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