my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
