he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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