last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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