what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
