saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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