Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
