ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
