im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
