If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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