Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
