Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
