I'm at about main and main street
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
