it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
