You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
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i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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