omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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