I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
