If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
