billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
