No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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