Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
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just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
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where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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