did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
