Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize