is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
