I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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