at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
