Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
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