So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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