I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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