my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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