Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
