Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
