Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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