Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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