and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
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Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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