I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
