AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize