Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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