he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
