Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.

  (773): View more from Illinois

  "We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.

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  (773): Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could. (773): "We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible. (773): I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive. http://tfl.nu/kn2s
  Replies (21) Good night (643) Bad night (1395)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.

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  (312): sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought. http://tfl.nu/msp2
  Replies (20) Good night (652) Bad night (2134) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.

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  (612): life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix. http://tfl.nu/ht0i
  Replies (32) Good night (524) Bad night (4691) Order T-Shirt
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.

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  (780): Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing. http://tfl.nu/pkwf
  Replies (37) Good night (880) Bad night (3208) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate

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  (407): I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate http://tfl.nu/yf54
  Replies (64) Good night (4656) Bad night (874) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care

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  (201): he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care http://tfl.nu/es4g
  Replies (14) Good night (1300) Bad night (3849) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark

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  (815): You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark http://tfl.nu/4we1
  Replies (56) Good night (5982) Bad night (703) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.

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  (609): imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift. http://tfl.nu/z6oe
  Replies (31) Good night (1308) Bad night (3785) Order T-Shirt
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.

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  (307): i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl. http://tfl.nu/csya
  Replies (15) Good night (2868) Bad night (852) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring

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  (816): I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring http://tfl.nu/n1of
  Replies (2) Good night (1993) Bad night (547) Order T-Shirt
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.

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  (720): No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No. http://tfl.nu/pprs
  Replies (18) Good night (2035) Bad night (515) Order T-Shirt
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.

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  (+61): I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it. http://tfl.nu/00sg
  Replies (2) Good night (943) Bad night (560) Order T-Shirt
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  (415): View more from California

  also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...

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  (415): also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable... http://tfl.nu/fb10
  Replies (9) Good night (523) Bad night (1334) Order T-Shirt
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.

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  (224): We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods. http://tfl.nu/n3ep
  Replies (3) Good night (1754) Bad night (361) Order T-Shirt
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point

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  (561): I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point http://tfl.nu/m5fj
  Replies (3) Good night (1026) Bad night (216) Order T-Shirt

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