I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.