"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
