Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Im at strip club and am horny

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  (313): Im at strip club and am horny http://tfl.nu/rj7w
  Replies (8) Good night (1458) Bad night (2148)
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  (818): View more from California

  Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...

  (714): View more from California

  Didn't you just get a DUI last week?

  (818): View more from California

  Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it

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  (818): Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong... (714): Didn't you just get a DUI last week? (818): Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it http://tfl.nu/by7p
  Replies (3) Good night (2878) Bad night (832)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Oh yea! I was just doing that too!

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  (814): I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina. (610): Oh yea! I was just doing that too! http://tfl.nu/grjr
  Replies (10) Good night (1046) Bad night (2503)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.

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  (651): you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career. http://tfl.nu/bzxx
  Replies (15) Good night (952) Bad night (3540)
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  (716): View more from New York

  i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...

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  (716): i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control... http://tfl.nu/d926
  Replies (75) Good night (1649) Bad night (4799)
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  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.

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  (339): I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion. http://tfl.nu/m237
  Replies (93) Good night (5413) Bad night (2142)
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  (315): View more from New York

  My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'

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  (315): My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?' http://tfl.nu/x9n6
  Replies (13) Good night (8569) Bad night (1573)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..

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  (503): I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions.. http://tfl.nu/v6no
  Replies (2) Good night (1991) Bad night (1193)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.

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  (913): I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/25xf
  Replies (3) Good night (1912) Bad night (690)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money

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  (403): Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money http://tfl.nu/gvry
  Replies (6) Good night (1750) Bad night (1132)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  You need a sexual gate keeper

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  (317): You need a sexual gate keeper http://tfl.nu/r2za
  Replies (7) Good night (856) Bad night (503)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success

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  (360): Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success http://tfl.nu/t5af
  Replies (3) Good night (754) Bad night (395)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it

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  (636): I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it http://tfl.nu/ihkd
  Replies (2) Good night (860) Bad night (356)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.

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  (216): The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball. http://tfl.nu/jddm
  Replies (0) Good night (519) Bad night (281)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.

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  (312): Adulthood is making your own puke bucket. http://tfl.nu/iq4c
  Replies (0) Good night (199) Bad night (233)

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