I feel great
I just peed on a car
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.