So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.