How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no