...is it true? will i see you next weekend
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
So gin and wine won't be happening again
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.