when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?