I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize