What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
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