She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
