Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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