yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Someone came in the potted fern
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
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