dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
