I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize