Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
