Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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