i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
