theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
