i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize
