I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
barbara walters just said penis...
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
