god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
this just has baby written all over it
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
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