I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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