Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
