forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
