just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
