i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
