with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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