Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
