i just google imaged poop.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
