we have pet lesbian snakes
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
