How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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