I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
